I’m the first to admit I am obsessively a little over protective of all my children, and as a result they are probably quite sheltered, but at 4 and under they should be sheltered shouldn’t they? I don’t want them to have to worry about anything more than what is next in their advent calendar, I want them to be happy and carefree for as long as possible.
I always knew that Z starting school would be a big change for us, I knew he would learn things from other children that I would perhaps not want him to know. What I hadn’t factored in was what he would learn from school itself. My little boy is very serious and like a sponge, he takes everything in and dwells on it.
One day he came home talking about ‘the poor children in Africa, who don’t have homes or places to cook’. He wanted to send money for seeds and some rice pudding into school (seeds for Africa got a bit mixed up with the local food drive). While I wouldn’t have chosen to tell Z about children in other countries who are not as lucky as him at this particular point, it didn’t seem to worry him too much, and was possibly even a good thing, as it has made him appreciate the food we have a little bit more.
I was a lot less happy when he came home very worried after Remembrance day talking about the soldiers who died, worried about where they had gone and worried about what had happened to them. While I do appreciate at some point my little boy will realise the world is not a nice place, I don’t necessarily think it has to be at age 4.
What do you think? Am I wanting to protect Z too much? Trying to keep him too sheltered? Or should we keep our children believing the world is wonderful for as long as possible.
Good post and tricky subject. School is such an eye opener to them, though you will find only to the first as they then explain all they know to their siblings! I believe in protecting them as long as we can but I am afraid school is where it all changes, if not from the teachers then from friends with older siblings, and to be honest it is probably better coming from the teachers!
I don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting to protect them for as long as possible. It’s hard when they start school as they hear so much that you don’t want them to hear from others children who’s parents don’t seem to worry about how much their child knows – we’ve been going through it a lot with s e x as S learnt perhaps more than I wanted him to know from a friend who has parents that tell him everything! Z sounds like such a sensitive boy and whereas it may not bother some children to hear these things it obviously bothers him – maybe you could speak to the teacher & ask them to tell you when they’re going to be talking about such issues and you can go over it with him first in a way that you know he will understand and be less worried by.
x
I agree with you that at 4 one hopes a child should only be worried about its advent calendar. My dad died when I was 5 and I had to grow up quickly in some ways and I so wish I didn’t have to. I remember looking at my classmates and feeling jealous of their simple life. My mum became very protective of me and tried to shelter me from other bad things going on in the world, which I very much appreciated. I think 4 is too young to be thinking about starving children or dead soldiers! In Italy we go to school when we are 6 and I love that one has a long childhood of fun play in kindergarden!
No I don’t think you are being over protective at all. Like the others have said, it’s such a tricky subject. I would also be tempted to speak to the teacher to find out what they will be learning perhaps in order to help prepare him. Whilst it wouldn’t overly bother one of my children, the other one is particularly sensitive and these kind of things bother her for days. We have a tough job don’t we 🙂 Emma
I don’t think that you’re wrong to want to censor the exact information told him; he is only four! However, as teachers we have a duty to convey this information so it’s difficult.
Our school is big enough to allow for separate Junior and Infant assemblies and on sensitive matters like this, I think it’s very wise.
I want to keep Mad’s world as magical and innocent for as long as possible- I think four is far too young to be learning about such sensitive issues. I don’t think there is anything wrong with being over protective- as long as you relax the reins at the right moment.
What a thoughtful post- it has really made me think. x
I want my children to be children – they have so many years ahead to worry about adult things and I don’t think it is fair to involve them in such things too early. I agree with you and feel the world is not the best place – over protectors of the world unite 🙂
I agree with you, let children be children for as long as possible. They have a whole lifetime ahead for being adults and dealing with the pressures of life. Childhood is their one chance to just be and truly enjoy the simple things in life, so long as we, and society as a whole, let’s them.
I completely understand where you are coming from on this.
Personally I dont think a parent can be over protective. It’s our responsibility to protect our children. A child at such a young age should not need to know things like that. X
I am the same as you, and am actually finding this whole school thing really quite hard 🙁 xx
It is horrible isn’t it. I am not good at losing control. xxx
What a sobering post. My little man will go to school next September, only 6 weeks after turning 4. It is very young and I suppose he too will be exposed to topics that may worry or upset him. I imagine that I too will find it hard to lose control, having been at home with him from day 1. I wish they went to school later, like in other countries.
I hope that you find the balance between reality and the wonder of childhood, and that it gets easier for you. xxxx
I guess I’m in a minority here, as I home educate my 3-year-old and did a little project with her about the 2nd World War around Remembrance Day. Obviously I was careful not to stress the “death” angle too much, but my Dad was in India during the war (my parents were old when they had me, as I was when I had my daughter), and I wanted her to grow up proud of what he had done and respecting those around him who never came home. It didn’t seem to bother her too much, but I guess I’m just lucky that she’s not especially sensitive. In fact, she’s so aware that her grandparents are in Heaven that she seems keen to go there to visit them (I guess she views it like Yorkshire, where she visits her other grandparents!).