One of the biggest moments you will have as a foster carer is when you meet the child you will be looking after. This usually happens when they move in, and the aim is to keep things as light-hearted as possible. These tips will make sure that any transition is a smooth one, and the goal of helping them get settled is kept at the top of the list.
Think About What Helps You
The first question to answer is, ‘What makes me feel at ease?’. Use this to form a plan for how you will handle the first meeting. Why? If you feel at ease, this will have a ripple effect on how everyone else in the room feels, too. It is easy to feed off someone else’s anxiety, but your job is to remain in control and maintain balance.
Be Warm
We’re not saying you have to practice your smile in the mirror, but there are definite perks to being as warm as possible in this situation. It is always nice to be surrounded by someone who seems friendly, kind, and caring, and these are the top three traits of any successful foster carer.
Take the Lead
Any child moving into your home will have very little information and need someone safe to take the lead. Little do they know, you are going to be that person. Take the lead by showing them around, paying particular attention to their bedroom, and letting them know what they can have access to. For instance, where will the snacks be? What time will meals be cooked? These are all important questions and if you answer them before they need to be asked, the young person will feel much better at a faster pace.
Keep on Assessing
There is a definite balance to be struck between being too overfamiliar and being just neutral enough, but you are the person who will assess which is appropriate. When you meet a child with their social worker, they are likely to be nervous and wary of the new environment. You have to be able to assess their mood and respond accordingly. This means paying attention to the subtle shifts in mannerisms and the choice of language, too.
Talk to Your Team in Advance
Sometimes, you will get more warning than others when a child is ready to move in. If this is the case, you can use this opportunity to talk to your team about what to expect. The more information you have, the easier the transition will be because you can prepare for everything in advance. Agencies such as Fostering People have a range of support members on standby to answer questions, facilitate move-ins, and provide general assistance to their carers. These are the people you can lean on to find out who you are going to meet and what kind of things they have experienced. This way, you can use your training in the best context and create a positive experience from the beginning.
Helping your foster child settle in is a big part of what foster carers do. They need a safe person, a warm environment, and as much empathy as possible to make them feel secure.
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