Photo by RDNE Stock project
There’s this moment after birth where everything quiets down for a second, and you think, the hardest part must be over now. And then the fourth trimester strolls in like, actually no, here’s a whole new set of things you weren’t emotionally prepared for. Sure, you might read some threads from Reddit, or even Facebook posts online about the newborn stage/ the fourth trimester, but reading it and experiencing aren’t the same.
Like, it’s this weird mix of joy, exhaustion, and trying to remember who you even are while also keeping a tiny human alive. And yeah, everyone talks about sleepless nights, feeding troubles, and all that, but no one really warns you about the random everyday challenges that pop up and hit harder than expected, but of course, not all of these happen; hopefully, some don’t happen to you.
The Pressure to “Do Things” Before You Even Feel Human Again
Well, not just doing them, but doing them right too. But yeah, there’s this expectation that new parents jump right into appointments, outings, and cute traditions even when they’re still trying to figure out what day it is. But really, even something as simple as going to a newborn photographer can feel like running a marathon.
But how? Well, you’re exhausted, the baby’s unpredictable, and you’re just hoping the pictures turn out okay because, yeah, babies absolutely do have fussy days that line up perfectly with anything important. And of course, literally getting to the photographer’s studio can be a challenge too. But it’s this whole internal battle of wanting the memories but also wanting sleep more than oxygen.
Balancing Older Kids and a New Baby is too Much
If there’s already another little one in the house, the fourth trimester hits a bit differently. But if this is your first kid, you can probably skip reading this one. So, with another kid, it becomes this constant dance of trying to divide attention without falling apart. You’re holding the baby with one arm, helping the older one with snacks or homework or just reassurance with the other, and there’s this quiet panic like, okay, am I doing enough for both, or is someone going to feel left out today?
And yeah, it’s true, sadly, a lot of kids do feel left out when they see their mum paying attention to the other baby. Plus, with all the visitors and all the gifts and attention to the newborn, well, that only adds to it all. You better believe that the older kids feel it too, so you’re constantly trying to make space for them, even when you barely have space for yourself.
Visitors Make Everything Ten Times Harder
Yeah, actually, speaking of visitors, this one seriously needs to be addressed! The second the baby is born, it’s like you can expect visitors immediately, be it the hospital, your house, etc. Sure, visitors are nice, of course, but wow, they can be overwhelming. There’s this unspoken expectation that the house should look presentable, that you should look presentable, and that you have enough energy to be a host even though you’re running on scraps of sleep. Well, some visitors are awful and literally expect that.
Speaking of expectations here; some visitors want tea and coffee like you’re running a café in your living room (and some have the audacity of wanting pastries too). Some want to hold the baby instantly even when you’re not comfortable, some demand to kiss the baby (in laws especially). And some stay too long, talk too much or ask questions that make you wish you could hide in the bathroom for five minutes of quiet.
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